I remember the first time someone told me “You are always ok.”
I accepted it as a statement, but at the time I didn’t see what it really meant.
It was only later when I started thinking about all the things that had happened in my life and noticing that, even in the toughest situations I’d been through, I was ok.
These are the situations that came to mind:
🤕 breaking my leg and having to stay in the hospital for a month for tests to find out if I had cancer (I didn’t).
🤯 being so stressed out by work that I completely melted down and needed to take 2 weeks off.
💔 breaking up with my long-term boyfriend, who I also worked really closely with and seeing him hook up with my HR partner within weeks.
😭 finding out I probably couldn’t have kids when I’d wanted them all my life.
😱 having no money coming into my new business in the midst of a global pandemic going on, meaning that no one was spending anything, and there were no jobs going either.
We all have things like this that happen to us, and when they happen it feels like we can’t cope.
But in each of these situations (and many others), I did cope. I must have done – otherwise, how else could I be here?
It wasn’t easy. In fact, it was often tough and it hurt and I felt overwhelmed, but when I focused in on what was going on for me in each moment and just took the next step I needed to take – I was ok.
This is what I mean whenever I talk about resilience. This is the inner strength that you have in each moment. It’s there for you when you need it, helping you take the next step.
But you can only tap into it in the moment. It’s not there for us when we project into the future or look back into the past because those events are in our imagination.
Notice it for yourself. Notice that in every event you’ve been through in your life, in that moment when it was happening, you coped and you were ok.
You don’t need to become more resilient. You just need to see how resilient you already are.
These ideas can take time to settle in – let them wash over you, see what comes up, and if you have any questions or examples you want to explore, you’re welcome to come over and join the conversation about resilience in my Facebook group for women in tech.
If you want to explore these ideas in more depth, and really see how they play out in your life and can help you step up and speak out more as yourself, email me or book a call to talk to me about a package of one-to-one coaching sessions!
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